The Armchair Epicureans

The best of the rest to be found on supermarket shelves.

Some foods are tasty in theory, but not on the palate, so I gathered a few taste-savvy friends to test some not-so-familiar items to prepare your taste buds should you feel curious.

Garden of Eatin’ black bean tortilla chips: $2.89 a bag, Dillon’s

Photos Liz Goerges

Tortilla chips are made for dippin’, and that’s just what you should do, but if it’s black bean-flavored will it need a dip, too? These tortillas chips were a tad darker in color than we are used to, but otherwise looked like any other chip. We all agreed that they tasted a little stale and lacked crunch. The black bean flavor isn’t as noticeable as we hoped, if at all. That said, we continually found our hands reaching for just one more chip, and we eventually polished the bag off.

The verdict: If your buddies are coming over to watch the Chiefs game, don’t put these out to impress them.

Strawberry milkshake Pop-Tarts: $1.67 per box, Wal-Mart

These Pop-Tarts have a pink milkshake-flavored filling. One Epicurean announced that Pop-Tart’s milkshake would NOT bring the boys to the yard. Another Epicurean said she thought it tasted just like original strawberry, and then said it needed butter (I’ve never tried butter on Pop-Tarts, but she assures me it’s good). I thought it tasted like someone vomited their Steak ‘n Shake milkshake and then hid it in a Pop-Tart.

The verdict: Milkshakes are best served in their traditional form: liquid.

Pocky chocolate cream-covered biscuit sticks: 93 cents, Wal-Mart

Every time I walk by the Asian foods section in Wal-Mart, I eyeball this snack, a biscuit stick dipped in semi-sweet chocolate. The stick part is semi-sweet, too, as in, not at all. Assuming (probably erroneously) that all Asians eat Pocky, since it was in the Asian section, an Epicurean asked “Why do they eat these?” To make Pocky more enjoyable, I would suggest it as a fun way to stir your coffee in the morning.

The verdict: This little dessert may not be for American palates.

Breyers Hershey’s Kisses ice cream poppers, made with chocolate ice cream: $2.92 per container, Wal-Mart

These poppable little Kiss-shaped pieces have a hard chocolate shell that covers a bite of chocolate ice cream. They are perfect if you are feeling extra lazy and don’t feel like scooping, or if you are just making a pit stop at the freezer. However, I don’t recommend grabbing a handful to go. They melt pretty quickly, but after your first Kiss, you will probably have a hard time putting the container down anyway.

The verdict: Chocolataliciously perfect!