The Dating Issue

From the bars, to the churches to the Internet, we're here to walk you through the highs and lows, ins and outs of the Springfield Dating Scene.

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Gossip Girls

Does what you wear matter when you’re out? We sent two different ladies to three very different local bars (Finnegan’s Wake, Ernie Biggs’ Piano Bar and Tonic Ultralounge) in very different outfits, all to see just how much attire plays into meeting men—and, as it turned out, women. As the ladies discovered, Springfield’s dating scene just might be as unpredictable as we’ve been saying all along.

By Heather Blue and Adrian Dabney, as told to Matt Lemmon

From left: Fancy Heather, Risqué Heather, Casual Adrian and Bold Adrian.

Fancy Heather

What I wore: A blue and white striped dress, with ankle boots and a hand muff (added after the photo due to unseasonably cool temperatures). Hair was done, jewelry was fancy.

How it went: The night started at Tonic Ultralounge with a large group of friends. Tonic was actually a lot more laid back than I had expected, though I was still approached by a handful of guys—most notably the bouncer, who kept taking photos of our sizeable group.

Since it was early, I moved the party to Finnegan’s Wake. I was, by and large, the nicest-dressed person there; frat boys were the norm. There I made constant chit-chat with the guys I’d bump int

Heather's Takeaway I definitely had a less aggressive attitude in the more casual attire, and guys seemed to be more comfortable around me, though the fancier attire itself created a good deal of conversation, especially the muff. I would recommend anyone do this, going to different bars dressed different ways. I had fun, but it reminded me how I’m not missing a much by not being able to go out in Springfield. The problem is, everybody knows everybody, and all of the guys my age—really from 24-35—are married, and if not, there’s a reason why. My advice, if he tells you he’s not married, check MySpace

o at the bar (Finnegan’s is good for that) and even had a shot bought for me by a friend of a friend.

The party then moved to Ernie Biggs, where I was cornered by Married Man Number 1. Before I knew he was married, however—he’d taken off his wedding ring; a friend later told me he was hitched—I’d given him my cell number, and he proceeded to text me throughout the night. At the end of the night I gave him a ride to Drury’s fraternity quad (classy) and headed home. (P.S., I still have your jacket if you want it back.)

Risqué Heather

What I wore: A short, inappropriate dress with high heels, bracelet, big earrings; hair was crimpy and curly, tied back in a bit of a Gwen Stefani poof.

How it went: This night started at Ernie Biggs. Married Man Number 1 wasn’t there, but the bartender remembered me, and we struck up some conversation. Biggs’ was less busy on this night (probably because it was my first stop) and I decided to scope the scene at Tonic.

This was the one night I went out without a wingwoman, and boy, the things you learn when you hit the bar scene solo! Imagine my surprise when I found myself sitting with two amorous female divorcées at Tonic. They sort of invited themselves to sit with me—one was mostly random, but I really think the other would have taken me home had I shown a shred of interest. Mindful of my mission, I somewhat amusedly exchanged numbers with the woman.

Also at Tonic, the waiter bought me a drink, and I made the acquaintance of Married Guy Number 2. He was nice enough, and we had a good conversation; he told me pretty much everything before he mentioned that he had a pregnant fiancée at home, which was amusing since I was trying to decide whether to tell him I had my own little one (I didn’t). Before I knew it, it was last call, and I’d missed Finnegan’s. But wow, what an interesting night.

Adrian's takeaway There are a lot of older guys out there—I’m talking mid to late 30s, guys I probably wouldn’t even talk to. Overall, I’d say I get approached more at Icon than at these three places, though my Saturday night at Tonic was pretty good (Editor: It should be noted that it was a pub crawl night). I tried to not linger too much with my girlfriends and seem approachable, but a lot of times it felt like we were the ones doing the approaching (especially at Finnegan’s). In general, I think the Springfield dating scene is a lot of fun if you aren’t afraid to get out there and mix it up.

What I wore: I chose my standby outfit: A gray sleeveless tank with jeans and heels. I have several of this same shirt in different colors. I love them.

How it went: I went out on a recent Thursday with my roommates. We opened at Finnegan’s Wake, and it wasn’t really happening yet. the only real conversation I had, with the bartender, centered on a mutual friend.

Our next stop was Ernie Biggs, and while there was a pretty good crowd, they seemed to be in a tight group. I did talk to this older guy; we walked up and wound up sitting at his table, and he chatted with us for a bit.

The next stop, at Tonic Ultralounge, was more lively. At one point this guy came up to me on behalf of his painfully shy friend. He said “My friend there thinks you’re cute.” He was from Holland, so I went over and said hi. There was another guy: He asked me if I had ever been told I looked like Lindsay Lohan. I’m not sure how to take that.

Bold Adrian

What I wore: A short-short green dress/shirt that can be suitably worn with jeans on a more casual night.

How it went: This outfit really boosted my confidence, and made me more social: guys were complimenting the dress and approaching me more than on my previous night out. I felt overdressed at Finnegan’s Wake, where I chatted with a guy with dreadlocks. I was also noticeably nicely dressed for Ernie Biggs’, where I met three guys—they were standing in a circle and I chatted with them all. I think I only bought one drink for myself the entire night.

Tonic was the best stop on this night. Three different guys asked me what I was doing after bars; one even offered to pay for my cab to the post-party. The quality of guys I met was good. They were mostly young and good-looking. A few were older, but they weren’t losery older guys. None were married (that I could tell).