Scouting the Talent

We asked our 11 favorite bartenders to take part in a good-natured and supremely un-scientific three-part competition. See how they did.

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If drinking were a professional sport, and to some people it is, you’d want to know which bartender was worthy of your first-round draft pick (read: happy hour dollars after a terrible day). To that end, we asked our 11 favorites to take part in a good-natured and supremely un-scientific three-part competition.

TASK 1: Cosmo Mix-off

Mix a cosmopolitan as quickly as you can. We added (bad) or took away (good) seconds as we saw fit, based on special touches or mistakes while mixing. Here are the results:

1. Nathan Conn 23.22 seconds Subtracted three seconds each for a pretty garnish, LOTS of finely chipped ice in the glass, and talking business with his boss while he was mixing the drink.
2. Shannon Russell 24.8 seconds Included three-second penalties for no shaking and no garnish.
3. Jeremy Kirkland 25.55 seconds Ten-second penalty for forgetting cranberry juice at first, subtracted 2 seconds for using a martini glass, though cosmos are usually served in regular glasses at Martha’s.
4. Chelsea Mahlberg 27 seconds Chelsea was really quick in Trolley’s handy bar. Took off two seconds for a simple lime garnish.
5. Drew Hacker 27.91 seconds We don’t know if it was a lot of vodka or a lack of other stuff, but Drew’s cosmo was strong. No wonder the ladies love The Boogie.
6. Thad Payton 28.11 seconds We took off five seconds for setting fire to an orange peel, which added extra flavor.
7. Jodi Blamey 33.59 seconds Three-second penalty for no garnish.
8. Jennifer Eiffert 37.12 seconds We took off a whopping 15 seconds because Jen spun a lime around the rim of the glass; each sip had that citrusy essence. Pretty brilliant.
9. Shane Faris 38 seconds We subtracted 10 seconds because he gave it a really, really long shake, which we liked.
10. Michael Mayhugh 1 minute, 4 seconds Minus five seconds each for hand-cutting an orange twist garnish and bothering to reach high on the shelf for a cranberry vodka. You don’t rush this guy, even with a stopwatch.
11. Ray Hassen
N/A “I don’t make cosmos.” Hoo-kay!


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