How to get your mower running

Spring isn't all fun and games

It’s that dreaded time of the year again—the time when many home-owning males slip on the trusty grass-stained shoes and teenage boys start earning their pocket money. It’s mowing season: And that first mow is always the hardest—physically, mechanically and aesthetically.

Here are a few tips for making sure you get the most out of that maiden voyage:

• Real maintenance begins in the fall, when you should have winterized the mower. It still doesn’t have to be too late: Change the oil, fill ‘er up with fresh gasoline and sharpen the blade.
• Get to it early. The only thing worse than mowing at all is mowing grass that’s up to your knees.
• Mow when it’s dry. The only thing worse than mowing grass up to your knees is mowing wet grass up to your knees.
• Wear the right equipment, including goggles, a light pair of pants to protect your white-ass legs and the appropriate shoes. No flip flops!
• Keep all family members, phalanges and pets away from the mower. I had a friend whose beagle lost an eye from a thrown rock—seriously. I also have a grandfather with a grotesque middle finger because he neglected to turn the mower off before he tried to get it unstuck from a chain-link fence. Solitude will also ensure your curses don’t fall on virgin ears.

Source: agebb.missouri.edu