Top 10 Springfield-Centric Christmas Carols
Sing the songs of the holiday, Springfield–style!
By Matt Lemmon
9. “Away In A Merger” (sung by Bancorp South/The Signature Bank employees only)
8. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! But If It Ices We’re Moving!”
7. “Last Christmas (Which Would Be A Great Song Were It Recorded By Anyone But That Fruitcake George Michael)”
6. “Six White (Baby) Boomers”
5. “Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella, So We Might Finally Make Some Money On Heer’s Tower”
4. “O Christmas Tree That Lost It’s Branches In the Ice Storm”
3. “The Holly and the Ivy: Two Strippers I Met at Crazy Horse The Other Night”
2. “We Need A Little Tax Relief For Small Businesses”
1. “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Ft. Wayne, Indiana”
2006's Top 10 List (which two out of three WP staffers found funnier)
10. "Ave Maria's Mexican Restaurant"
9. "Jingle Bell Rockabilly"
8. "We Need A Little Christmas (But, By Voter Referendum, Only For Those 21 and Older)"
7. "O Christmas Tree That Was Bulldozered to Put Up a Suburban Housing Development"
6. "Up On the Loft Building's Smallish Shared Patio"
5. "Do You Hear What I Hear at 10 a.m. the Second Wednesday of Each Month?"
4. "Mary Did You Know Another Jalili-Owned Restaurant Opened?"
3. "Grandma Got Run Over By An Idiot Driver On James River Freeway"
2. "I Saw Mommy Invite Santa Claus to Christmas Eve at James River Assembly"
1. "91.69 Percent White Christmas"
