The Santa-O-Meter

Here's what the jolly fella really wants with his glass of milk (or beer) this Christmas.

Onion rings from The Grotto

3046 S. Kimbrough Ave., 417-886-9600

What it is: The Grotto’s menu lists these babies as a side and an appetizer, though if you add them to a burger or sandwich you’ll have to pay a bit extra. We think they make a great snack by themselves—one co-worker uses the word irresistible. We hope Mrs. Claus likes onion breath.

Price: $4.39 for a whole helping

Santa-O-Meter Rating:

Beer battered fried mushrooms from Patton Alley Pub

313 S. Patton Ave., 417-865-4255

What it is: Beer. Battered. Fried. Mushrooms. Four words that make cardiologists wake with night sweats. Absent from the menu right now, Patton Alley owner Eric Zackrison says they’re coming back by popular demand next month.

Price: $5.99

Santa-O-Meter rating:

.5

Spicy chipotle fried chicken from Dillon’s deli

multiple locations in Springfield

What it is: We admit a weakness for supermarket delis. They’re generally cheap, usually quick and almost always bad for you. Eschew the chicken tenders for the on-the-bone variety at Dillon’s, and pick up a Coke to cool your tastebuds. Better make that a Diet Coke.

Price: $5.99 for eight pieces

Santa-O-Meter rating:

.5

Pasta alla Poppa from Bambino’s

1141 E. Delmar St., 417-862-9999

What it is: Babelfish translates this dish as “paste to the breast” but wethinks it’s going to stick just a few inches lower, around your belly. Pasta is, inherently, pretty healthy, but once Bambino’s layers on the Italian sausage, spicy marinara and alfredo sauce, most of the nutritional value is…well, pasted.

Price: $7.99, $6.99 lunch w/ soup or salad

Santa-O-Meter rating:

.5

Ginger blueberry panna cotta at Kai

306 S. Campbell Ave., 417-832-0077

What it is: This dessert is rich, delightfully sweet after a savory or spicy sushi roll, and decidedly heavy on the berry, which is an all-too-rare phenomenon for desserts. Share with a friend, for reals.

Price: $6

Santa-O-Meter rating:

Fried cheesecake bites from Bambu

1338 E. Battlefield Rd., 417-881-9881

What it is: Cheesecake that has been fried. We’re not sure if these bite-size bits of heaven are considered a traditional Vietnamese dish (it sounds bit more “carnival” to us), but we’re glad Bambu put it on the menu.

Price: $4

Santa-O-Meter rating: