Foodie Likey Drunken Fruit

All you need to know about vodka watermelons and PBR brats.

We’re having a dinner to celebrate these 100-degree heat index days. What’s an easy dessert we can make that would cool people down?
Some people call it a college-kid classic, but Mr. Foodie is partial to the Drinkie-Poo Watermelon. Purchase a very large, ripe watermelon as well as a fifth of your preferred vodka or rum. (Foodie faves: Level vodka; Parrot Bay rum.) With a paring knife, saw a little hole in the watermelon. Pour the bottle of liquor into the watermelon. Let this sit for 24 hours before serving your guests. One slice apiece! [Insert Foodie-smirk here.]

What’s the best way to cook brats?
Simmer the brats in Pabst Blue Ribbon over very low heat for about 20 to 30 minutes before throwing them on a hot grill for 10 to 15 minutes. That way, the skin will be nicely charred but the brats remain hyper-juicy. Note that “simmer” means the beer should be hot to the point of steaming, but never actually boiling. Boiling will burst your brats. Serve with mustard. Mr. Foodie likes hot Chinese mustard lately, so use that.