Burger Madness

One man, one month, 18 between-the-bun creations. Our fearless freelancer hit up a dozen and a half acclaimed joints in Springfield's most exhaustive, exhausting burger study ever.

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Here at GO we have always wanted to give readers the honest, taste-tested scoop on Springfield's best burgers, but knew only a proper, scientific* process would suffice. Finally, it is finished. This is our roster of 18 hamburgers, recommended by readers and staff, that we believe constitute a cross-section of Springfield's contribution to the meatly arts.
Here are your results, well done.
* May or may not use actual science

The Behemoths

Okay, so there's no rational reason for a single person to order one of these unless you're a professional competitive eater. That said, these three juicy giants make a good split-it-four-ways meal. The only question: Are they worth the humiliation? Because they will defeat you.

The O'Malley at J.C. O'Malley's ($19.95, fries included)

Photo Dylan Whitaker

 The single largest hamburger reviewed, The O'Malley is a two-pound, bacon cheeseburger middle finger to that hard-working heart of yours. Eight griddle burgers are separated by three different kinds of cheese and multiple strips of sinister-looking bacon. Two normal hamburger buns bookend this affront to humanity, possibly for comical effect.
 So it was a total, utter grease bomb (the wax paper it was served on looked like glass afterwards), but how was it? Well, it was awesome of course, if pricey. Just bring a few linebacker buddies to help.
1218 E. Trafficway St., 417-864-7070

One-pound hamburger at W.F. Cody's ($7.99)

Photo Dylan Whitaker

By far the best buy of the big burger lot (I'm so alliterative), Cody's is the originator of the Big Springfield Burger. And while it is more simple and straightforward than the other burgers reviewed, it is also the most feasible to tackle by yourself. The fries I got were a little weird—I think they'd been sitting out for awhile—but this is all about the meat, innit? And the burger itself was mighty fine. You have the option of getting it with bacon and cheese, which I declined, because I was finally thinking about making it to 50 (see sidebar page 19).
3138 E. Sunshine St., 417-887-8083; 1440 E. Republic Rd., 417-883-0253

Ghetto Burger at Paradise Bar & Grille ($14.99, fries included)

Photo Dylan Whitaker

While O'Malley's and W.F. Cody's mammoth offerings rely on the more straightforward, just-a-big-pile-of-meat-and-cheese formula, The Ghetto Burger goes for the gusto: grilled onions, mayo, jalapenos, hot sauce, ketchup and cheese all on a one-pound ginorma-patty. On buttered Texas Toast. Like the O'Malley, you can't deny that, inherently, grease is good, but this one had the upper hand. Maybe it was cook James Johnson's “special seasoning,” but the Ghetto is one damn fine hunk of beef. I hesitate to call it the best in Springfield, but definitely the most memorable.
420 W. Commercial St., 417-865-8050